The Ranting Beaver

Because it's Friday and who doesn't like laughing at someone biff it.

I've decided that I may not remember all of the things I want to pass on to my kids, so it was best to at least write them down. Here is as good as any other place. This is another part in the series.

• Never be afraid to come to us with anything. No matter what it is or how old you are.
• If the grass looks greener on the other side, be sure to look for the can of green paint.
• If you have a question, ask it. Guaranteed at least one other person is thinking about the same question and is waiting for someone else to ask it.
• Reality TV is just as scripted as a sitcom or drama. They just make up the details and dialogue as they go along.
• You'll make lots of friends, but they'll really be more like acquaintances. Not all of these people will really like you or can really be trusted. Still they will fill a purpose for you or you for them. This is how the world works.
• Never underestimate the power of an 'inner circle'.
• There is no such thing as 'just the tip'. Ever. Not in money, not in icebergs, not in intercourse.
• Never loan money to family. If you expect or need to get that money back at some point, then you shouldn't be giving it out. If they can pay it back, they will, without you asking. Or they shouldn't be borrowing it.
• Learn to use your hands. They really are a useful tool. Especially in cooking.
  
• Someone who argues just to cause trouble is never going to see your point. Don't argue with them or they win automatically.
• Anything you do or say has a certain permanence nowadays. Not everything has to be shared with everyone and once something is out there, it may not be able to be taken back.
• Read everything for yourself. You won't see things through other people's eyes and you'll be better off for the experience. Some books are great, some are not so much -- even if they are so called classics. It's best to read them all and decide for yourself.
• Speaking of books, remember that the point of a book is to tell a good story -- a good thing to remember no matter what book you are reading. Even autobiographies and the Bible.
• Everyone has problems. We're all human. Yes, especially people with money. It's how you handle those problems that matters.
• Mind your own house before paying attention to what others are doing.

That should be enough for this installment. I'll have more again soon. Feel free to comment or give feedback.

I actually really like this song. Don't hate.

Hands down, I think one of the funniest Family Guy clips is probably one of the most subtle ones and likely not everyone else's favorite. Here's the premise:

Peter comes across some protesters with 'Free Tibet' signs. He runs up to one and say's "I'll take it!" and then immediately runs to a phone booth. He dials a number and and says "Hello China? ... I have something you may want ... that's right, all the tea."

It's a well written joke that guaranteed, went over the heads of MANY people. Yet it makes me crack up, even playing it in my own head. Is that wrong? Is it too soon? Probably on both ... that's what makes it funny.

Go look it up or watch the episode it's on. If you don't get it, try reading something other than TMZ once in  while.

Bonus: 500 Internet points if you can find a GOOD clip of it (please share if you do).

(I can't find a good clip of this one on YouTube, but had to share since it was in my head ...)